Don't you send me to vm
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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