I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize