i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
BRING THE BAGELS
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
