who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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