Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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