Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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