I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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