I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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