He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
