can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wish I only lived at night.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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