And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
