if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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