When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
