Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
