She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
