I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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