i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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