Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
