you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
