I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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