what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
