I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
