let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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