I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
