dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
