my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.â€
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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