I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
