Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
