Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
