We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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