you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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