ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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