But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
