3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
