I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
