i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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