When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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