Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
