Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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