He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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