It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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