Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
