I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Randomize
