eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Randomize
