im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
