just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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