You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
