dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize