i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She needs sedatives and a leash
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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