just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You took a bar mat shot.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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