Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My feet surprised me
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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