Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have peed in a lot of sinks
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
