Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
