im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
being pregnant is like rehab
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
