and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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