I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize