How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think I sprained my soul last night
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
