and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
