Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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