So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
