can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
