all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
