problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You may now shotgun with the bride
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
