allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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