Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
