hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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