A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
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