I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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