Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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