dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im six kinds of drunk right now
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
