she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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