How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
