I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
