God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
